The text reads: ‘I miss you. Love, mom’
It’s been weeks since we’ve talked.
Her words wash over me as sadness rises up.
Bringing ‘I’m alone’ to the surface again.
I’ve driven her away.
And do the same with you.
Completely energetic, it is.
I could be right next to you + gone.
Why the flee, Kate?
Scared of intimacy? Hell yes.
Scared to open? Of course.
Scared to let love in? Definitely.
But I, EYE, am not.
It’s the aching one.
Who got disconnected.
Taken out of the womb 2 weeks early.
Whose caesarian arrival hurt like hell.
Why would I trust the world when it hurt me?
This is my story, yet I see how it’s ours.
Parents passing, lovers leaving, bodies bleeding.
The myriad of ways we’ve been hurt.
By others, by the world.
As a result : eons of unprocessed grief.
Fueling varying degrees of ‘I’m alone’.
And so we interact through walls.
Or furiously try to attach.
We call this connection.
What a far cry.
So how do we begin to trust again?
How do we gather evidence that creation doesn’t want to hurt us?
See everything as a gift.
Everything/everyone has a gift to give you.
Listen for it.
When we move from this place, we aren’t operating from ache.
We’re operating from the eye.
This will heal us.
It will heal all.
I’ve been working to build a community for some time now – one full of eyes. I’ve found that this type of group consciousness is not widely available given our varying degrees of willingness to open. Monthly groups is rad in its two-fold approach 1) addresses the subconscious ‘blocks’ that prevent us from opening 2) simultaneously allows for unbridled, embodied listening. It’s so very healing to the parts of us starved for exposure. Join us? We start May’s group next Wednesday @3PM EST.
Link to join is HERE.