0
Kate Read

About Me

Monthly Groups

Universal Health Principals

READY TO WIELD

12:00 PMish on a working Wednesday.

Will + I just arrived @ a local coffee shop amongst other open laptop go’ers.

Deep terror rose in my throat as I looked at him and said ‘I need to go to the car + rest’.

He externally mirrored the role of my internal executioner.

With a scowl of judgement, he handed over the keys.

Reclining the drivers seat in the darkened parking garage, I whispered:

I allow myself to be protected.’

Because I still need help feeling safe in my decision to ‘not-do’.

It’s been years of consciously ‘not-doing’, of resting into me.

And I can’t say it’s gotten any easier.

45 minutes later, I walked back into that coffee shop.

Where Will was armed + ready to continue playing my inner slayer.

We left with incredible friction, creating the necessary charge for what came next.

{God bless him} >

Providing me the opportunity to find (+ scream) these words ::

‘I’M NOT ‘NOT-DOING’!!! I’m doing the hardest thing there is – to connect + trust it’s enough!’

In that moment, I believed myself.

Facing this fear for the 222932nd time has created adequate evidence.

That it’s safe to reside here.

That all my needs will be met.

I’m watching the shattering of victim + savior consciousness break apart alongside.

Frenzied overactive doing from the victim + false altruistic doing from the savior.

Both a mere stop over to knowing my power is in staying connected.

For when I am (when we are), we have the capacity to move water, change the information it holds, create coherence.

That’s no joke + I’m ready to wield it.

Fierceness is behind these words.

It must be if I wish this path.

Because consistent connection will churn up all the fear.

Bringing forward the false ways we as a people meet our needs.

My old ways of eradicating others discomfort cannot exist.

For much discomfort will arise.

And I’m finally OK with that.

I share this with you ::

To remember to ask for help feeling safe in ‘not-doing’. But it must be a discerning ask, not from a place of victim or you won’t receive the protection you’re after.

XO I love you guys, stay brave.

‘IM NOT FOR THE TAKING’

^ That belief system.

Turned up last week.

In the context of houseguests.

Alongside my age-old discomfort + over awareness of other.

I voice this belief as I’m certain it’s not mine alone.

It’s common to those choosing to experience powerlessness.

It lives imperceptibly.

And keeps us charging @ the world in fear.

Armed with ‘you can’t take me’.

We acquiesce defeat before we begin.

It’s exhausting.

But more than that, it prevents us from receiving.

{ourselves}

This makes for mounds of grief.

Lifetimes of active memories devoid of receiving.

We naively walk around with death inside us.

I met these starved, shriveled cells last week.

And flatlined upon encounter __________________.

Their presence unbearable, yet necessary.

This is my (our) journey to remembering.

We must wake to the realization we are worth LIFE.

The layers, freakin deep – as deep as the ways we’ve felt assaulted ::

Emotions fed to us in the womb.

The birth process itself.

Incarnations where we’ve had to run.

And now this one, where we’ve chosen to show up sensitive as hell – open to onslaught by our very disposition.

But it’s critical to see the attack isn’t real.

If we feel assailed, we’re operating from de-oxygenated cells.

We must pass what’s deceased + go further in.

For nothing can hurt us when we’re really in.

Our boundaries too strong, our energies too concentrated for permeability.

How to go in you ask?

Know that you deserve to sit in the center of yourself.

And how to do that?

Breathe.

Let your inhale declare it for you.

Simple.

…but not that simple.  Which is why I’m hosting a free call this Thursday @ 2 PM EST on breath – to tune into our subconscious and see the ways + places we aren’t letting ourselves receive it.  If interested, click here.  A recording will be available for those not able attend live. PS I’m going to be doing this call from the ocean, an information powerhouse for revealing all the things we can’t see. XOXO