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Kate Read

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SEEN, NOT HEARD

I see you, seeing me, with interested eyes.

My physicality intrigues you.

And your notice frightens me.

It keeps me locked within my skins parameters.

Inside a self-image which is far from whole.

I’ve stopped running from your attentive glance.

Halted my obsession with maintaining your look.

One I worship + despise @ the same time.

What I’ve discovered is this ::

Memories, very young ones.

Where my heart spoke.

And its feedback loop was not reciprocated.

Beliefs developed ::

‘You can’t hear me’ ‘I can’t speak’ ‘Silence isn’t enough/is too much’

Though I wasn’t heard, I was seen.

Physically.

And I learned that was me.

But it’s not.

We live in a world obsessed with our physical image.

But are we really a world deprived of being heard?

By a reciprocating open heart?

Have we learned that our bodies are us?

Forgetting their purpose is to feel?

Pretty sure.

So what to do?

Follow the fear that comes with interested eyes (or a lack thereof).

Dive straight into the gully of being falsely seen/unseen.

There’s pain (love) there.

And it’s calling us back.

To the wholeness of our self-image.

Here’s another remedy ::

Set the intention to find someone who can hear you {YOU}.

The process will begin from there.

May all of our hearts be heard.

May they know they can speak.

And trust their chosen times of silence are just right.

Loving you + hearing you,

-Kate

 

EYE TRUST

The text reads: ‘I miss you. Love, mom’

It’s been weeks since we’ve talked.

Her words wash over me as sadness rises up.

Bringing ‘I’m alone’ to the surface again.

I’ve driven her away.

And do the same with you.

Completely energetic, it is.

I could be right next to you + gone.

Why the flee, Kate?

Scared of intimacy? Hell yes.

Scared to open? Of course.

Scared to let love in? Definitely.

But I, EYE, am not.

It’s the aching one.

Who got disconnected.

Taken out of the womb 2 weeks early.

Whose caesarian arrival hurt like hell.

Why would I trust the world when it hurt me?

This is my story, yet I see how it’s ours.

Parents passing, lovers leaving, bodies bleeding.

The myriad of ways we’ve been hurt.

By others, by the world.

As a result : eons of unprocessed grief.

Fueling varying degrees of ‘I’m alone’.

And so we interact through walls.

Or furiously try to attach.

We call this connection.

What a far cry.

So how do we begin to trust again?

How do we gather evidence that creation doesn’t want to hurt us?

See everything as a gift.

Everything/everyone has a gift to give you.

Listen for it.

When we move from this place, we aren’t operating from ache.

We’re operating from the eye.

This will heal us.

It will heal all.

I’ve been working to build a community for some time now – one full of eyes.  I’ve found that this type of group consciousness is not widely available given our varying degrees of willingness to open.  Monthly groups is rad in its two-fold approach 1) addresses the subconscious ‘blocks’ that prevent us from opening 2) simultaneously allows for unbridled, embodied listening.  It’s so very healing to the parts of us starved for exposure.  Join us?  We start May’s group next Wednesday @3PM EST.

Link to join is HERE.