Weekly Share

SIDELESS

Sideless
9:00 AM-ish, Saturday, January 21st.

We pack into the Volvo for a quick respite to New Hampshire.

NPR strikes a stimulating tone straightaway.

Trumps inauguration, yesterday.

The womens marches, today.

Will taunts, ‘you might be the only woman not marching.’

Bless his fiery wit, offering me space to step into my stance + speak.

‘I don’t feel it,’ I say.

The anger, rage or passion.

I see it.

I see Trumps role as necessary.

I revere him + his soul for what they’ve contracted to do.

To surface sedentary emotions in so many.

Disrupting notions of power + freedom.

And collapsing a system destined to fail.

I honor those marching in response.

Bravely walking into their anger, rage and passion.

Shifting their needle, the collective needle of illusion.

It’s all beautiful.

And it’s all necessary.

But I don’t feel it.’

He looked at me in a way I could tell he was moved.

Chills coursing through my body in response.

I squeezed his hand and turned away.

A golf ball suddenly lodged in my throat.

No I wasn’t feeling anger, rage or passion but I was feeling a heaping mass of sadness.

Sparked by the shared camaraderie of women everywhere.

Those I respect dearly, bound together, sharing exchanges of ‘I get you’.

Despair found me incomprehensibly alone.

Inside, sidelessness.

I’ve never been one for sides.

They’ve never made sense for they both made sense.

Lessons on either end beckoning their own truth.

I let tears drop when ready and that’s when I saw it.

I saw I’m far from alone.

I’m connected to all those women, I must be.

Because I’m feeling despair in response.

The parts believing to be unscathed by the state-of-the-world, humbled.

It’s impossible.

There’s no separation siphon or silos.

Every individual influencing the next in the grandest of symphonies.

And as the world turns over, tensegrity teems.

Tugging us.

Drawing closer, exactly what each being needs to evolve.

My evolution calling forth radical fears of aloneness.

So I can peer straight through into an accurate understanding of human connection.

So I can continue to stand sideless.

Not silent, but sideless.

And feel far, very far, very very far from alone.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

So I ask, what’s your role in our symphony?

What is the state-of-the-world bringing up in you?

It’s not about him, them or the other side.  It’s about what you are feeling in response.

Overwhelmed. Despair. Anger. Rage. Fury. Frightened. Terror. Elation. Bliss.

It’s all valid.

Deep bows to each one of us for facing what our unique brand of feeling is.

For letting resistance be and instead choosing to see what’s in the belly of our own beasts.

Keep going.

Keep feeling.

KEEP GOING.

KEEP FEELING.

 

All my love,

XO

Kate

2 Comments

  • Reply
    jennifer noelle
    January 30, 2017 at 8:49 pm

    Thank you for this! Simply gorgeous and so honest. Feeling it 🙂

    • Reply
      Kate Read
      January 31, 2017 at 9:26 am

      Thank you sweet Jennifer. I appreciate your reflection <3 And your feeling <3

    Leave a Reply