The blank page.
Aggravating as all hell.
Especially when I’ve committed to sharing weekly.
I’m on the hook. And I could totally let myself off…
But that’s not what creativity is asking of me.
It’s asking for consistency so it may reveal its riddle.
This week, I hear ‘you have something to share’ but I assure you I don’t.
Grrrr. Dammit. Arghhhh!
When this same phenomenon happened last week, I threw a temper tantrum, downed a glass of Prosecco and danced around the living room instead.
Only a temporary cure though.
The pull to create, unrelenting.
So I persevere into the space where images flash, potential concepts too.
I watch ardent voices eager to meaning-make.
‘Is this what I’m supposed to share?’…’Or is it this?’…
None of it feels right. Too forced. Not the flavor of innovation I’m after.
Several minutes pass before the parts coaxing the reveal, relax.
And there it is.
The reveal lives in the middle.
The space between the question and the answer.
The distance between the beginning and the end.
What I’m after occupies this median.
Why so much resistance to coming here I wonder?
Perhaps because it’s a window to another world.
A world without time.
One that crumbles the illusion of life as I understand it.
Suddenly I’m just in it, suspended spacially.
And that’s too much to handle, steadily anyway.
But it’s what I want to handle.
Creativity is begging me to stay in the middle.
Both my physical middle and the proverbial one.
Guess this means I will keep showing up for my weekly share.
And stretch its practice into my moment-to-moments.
I will continue to speak in questions.
And relish the space that follows.
I will remain soft at both ends.
And sink into the spreading surface area between…
Between my head and feet.
The sky and sea.
My eyes and what they meet.
The blank page and published post.
It’s no coincidence that a relationship with my physical middle is prompting a rescue of my creativity. Or perhaps it’s the other way around. Chicken or the egg I’m not sure.
There’s a lot I could say here, but I’m gona streamline it to two bullets…
If you are someone whose tugged by the middle riddle, I would offer the following:
- Pay attention to your organs. Get to know what’s in there. Become curious. Awakening organ energy is a very important part of the creative process (I’m slowly learning). It’s where we feel. There are more neurons firing in our bellies than there are in our brains. So make contact in whatever way you feel called. Study the anatomy, massage the area, ask your breath to show you new cracks + crevices. All awareness helps.
- As far as the actual creative process is concerned, I’m a huge proponent of structure. Schedule it in. At least to move past the initial resistance. Otherwise creativity becomes when we feel like it which could be never. Passion will eventually become contagious, but until than a bit of control is necessary. So mark it in. What days? Times? Get specific.
Until next week (and hopefully not too many temper-tantrum induced Proseccos in the interim), all my love.