About Me

MONTHLY GROUPS

UNIVERSAL HEALTH PRINCIPLES

Weekly Share

BLACK SHEEP

“We find emotional instability almost universally (1) in nations that are in the process of deep social + economic transformation and (2) in people who dare to deviate from the traditional mode of action of their parents, their class or social group. During childhood, we lose a considerable measure of the faculty of our nervous system for making individual paths and patterns of action, thanks to parental influence on our immediate environment.” -Moshe Feldenkrais

Well America, I guess we all fall into category (1) but I’m honing in on (2)…

Where my black sheep at?

Struggling artists.
Paralyzed musicians.
Addicted empaths.
Striving entrepreneurs.

What if our emotional instability is the result of an ill-fitting nervous system?

What if we aren’t equipped for the level of feeling we’re destined for?

And what if we’re not supposed to be?

Because we’re meant to activate a vaster system of nerves.

One with more capacity.

And dare I say change our DNA.

I believe there’s a way to expand our capacity for feeling without an uproar of emotional instability. There’s a whole bunch of us black sheep learning to kick it’ together. No more harrowing growth process. We gather in a community created by Laura Hames Franklin called ‘Wholly Shift’ on Mondays at 2PM EST.

I’ve got a +1 for this coming week, 7/24. Hit me up if you’re interested!

XOXO -Kate

Weekly Share

WANT//CAN’T

We want to feel it all.

But can’t.

Because early love is often conditional.

So we learn to resist.

Speed through inappropriate feelings.

Our bones, diaphragms + limbs soon reflect our effort.

This is us.

Or is it?

True that we need love.

Also true that this deformed musculature became a viable avenue.

But it’s f’ing exhausting.

The lack of ‘permissible’ feelings fuels an unsustainable frustration.

A nagging fury.

Powering a whirlpool of guilt for wanting what is inaccessible to our distorted figures.

It demands another way.

A literal rewiring of our brain.

An altering of our body-minds.

We must learn to yield to the resistance that once guaranteed us love.

And simultaneously declare unconditionality lies in our feeling it all.

We want to feel it all.

And we can.

We can and we must.

Xoxo -Kate

Weekly Share

POWER-HOUSE RECEIVER

It’s been some *time* since my last weekly share.  Being reflective is a bit too slow for what wants to come through these days.  Finding a balance of being spontaneous + consistent.  Bare with me. In the meantime, exciting news to share. Scope it out below!

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I’ve been seeking solitude since forever.

And energetically pulling away from people just as long.

I used to think I needed a quiet physical space to feel myself.

If I could just get that, I could stay there, in me.

And if I practiced staying in me long enough, I wouldn’t have to feel the people around me.

How far from the truth this has proven to be.

I’m always going to feel people.

That’s my (our) disposition.

Evolution gave us intense-as-hell-mirror-neurons for a reason.

Sure, there’s a learning curve of discerning what’s mine + yours that comes with increased differentiation to sensation.

But even that doesn’t matter.

What matters is that we don’t barricade or grab onto the information entering our highly-refined nervous systems.

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It’s not until very recently that I stopped seeking seclusion.

And I’m no longer motivated by a false desire to stay in me to avoid feeling you.

I can show up in the world without energetically withdrawing.

Do you know how grateful I am for this?

The pain of retreating is the rawest of the raw.

The feeling of ‘I gota get away’ + ‘get away from me’ makes my heart bleed.

What literally saved my life is Universal Health Principles.

It has restored communication to my body-mind so that mass amounts of information can flow through uninterrupted.

So that I’m not rushing to leave conversations + fretting social get-togethers.

I can now be with my husband, my girlfriends, even the grocery clerk and receive them fully without feeling the need to hold, hide or run away from what my cells are gathering.

People no longer scare the shit-outa-me.

Seriously a miracle.

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As sensitives, we’ve been given the gift of being privy to an ample stream of information.

But if that information is running through broken circuitry – it will hurt.

We will identify with being shy, introverted, overwhelmed, anxious, compulsive + addicted.

Common examples of broken circuitry include compromised guts, excess tension in muscles + bones, auto-immune diseases, disconnection from ground etc.

….with all that said ….

In 2 short weeks, Universal Health Principles opens its doors to the next group of folks who are ready to learn + become certified in this system.

UHP was created for me.  And for you too if you feel it.

You are a mega power-house receiver meant to dance in the world.  To let it fully stream through without any effort to protect.  You were designed to let it inform you. People, places + things alike. It’s ultimately all you. And so it becomes the most beautiful game of self-awareness that increases your love of self + everything.

Are you ready to bring the communication of your body-mind back online?

Scope the details here :: Universal Health Principles Certification Program.

And if you want to experience a UHP session with me, lets set it up. Contact me.

All my love,

Kate

 

Weekly Share

THE SAFEST PLACE

8PM, one night last week.

(I can’t remember which.

The past few have blurred together in a wave-after-wave way.)

Following dinner, I crept downstairs…

…turned on ambient Pandora, lit candles, closed the door + waited.

There was another wave to feel.

So I leaned in.

Will came down thirty minutes later.

He opened the door just a crack.

Enough to see my tears.

Comedically looking around, he demanded ‘who was in here and what did he do!?’

‘Nobody’, I cry-chuckled. ‘I’m just so tired of feeling.’

Wrapping his arms around me he responded, ‘You’re not a tree yet’.

Of course this opened up a floodgate for more tears.

Goodness gracious, I’m a human.

A human who’s learning to breathe under water.

It’s been days since I’ve come up for air.

Days without clarity.

Storylines have trickled in.

But nothing alleviating.

Nothing true in totality.

Only aspects.

Aspects that I’ve wanted to make total so I could be done with feeling.

These time-released emotions are requiring a new kind of endurance.

A fortitude to stay in my body longer.

To sink so far in that I no longer care to seek safety in clarity.

Not just clarity, but all the ways I reflexively seek it.

In my relationship with food…

And the way I pursue health as a shield from illness.

In my relationship with Will…

And the way I lean into him for protection from the world.

Shit.  

Here goes another layer of what my mind believes is safe.

And so completely ironic it is.

To have to descend so far into the human form to know this truth.

That the body IS the safest place to be.

Not because it will never get sick or die but because through the body we can {{ feel }}.

Safety doesn’t exist as a concept here.

It just is.

I just am.

Safe + connected.

But this passage to trusting my body.

And not fearfully taking care of it when in pain or constricted.

And unweaving myself from my many safety nets – family, husband, home.

Well this is the real deal.

Grateful to my lungs for signing me up for underwater swim lessons.

They remembered to make nothing more important than feeling.

And that story I wanted to make total…

Well its’ swelled to entirety.

But the clarity doesn’t so much matter.

Lucidity is able to land without shooting me to the moon.

I’m staying here with the remembrance of why I’m here.

I’m sure I’ll forgot.

But I have these words so I can remember again.

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I’m aware that learning to breathe under water is not something we learn from someone else. This is an inside job.

For me consistent vibrational healing, regular Universal Health Principles sessions + a daily commitment to Franklin Method has helped me soften into deep sea swimming.

And so I’m currently trying out a new model that combines these three aspects in a 12-week (3 month) curriculum. It’s called Sensitive Homeschooling and it’s for the folks who are ready to dwell deeper in the body for longer. Those who are willing to let the connections quietly arrive while staying unhurriedly IN.

Inquire here if interested! Details coming to the masses in the next couple days. Yay!

XO, Kate

 

Weekly Share

JUST AN EARTHBOUND MISFIT, I

There’s this pressure I’ve always felt.

To be something.

Good. Grand, even.

It’s probably why I don’t enjoy being around most people.

I feel into their expectations.

Errr my expectations to be something ‘good’ in their presence.

And just like that, I lose me.

In the chameleon suit I’ve hung by the door.

Same goes for why I don’t relish the creative process.

I feel into the suspense.

To create something grand.

And again, I’ve lost me.

The higher the expectations, the greater the vanishing act.

Until I’m so far gone, I’m spinning out above ground.

Utterly panicked.

It’s been a while since a full-on panic attack.

Until last week.

And the week before that, too.

When I went to write + illustrate my ‘weekly share’.

Clearly a story is up for exposure.

This part of the growth process I’ve grown familiar with.

The swelling of the story before it’s death.

Lying on the forest floor (my only way down from sheer terror), questions flashed.

Why the need to be ‘good’ around others?

Why the need to be ‘grand’ in what I share?

Why do I get tongue-tied + twisted?

Just an Earthbound Misfit, I?

Questions that don’t need answers.

What I need is breath.

Kate, breathe.

I’m being asked to let go again.

Hands down the most menacing version of surrender to date.

Because I’ve gota let go of good me + grand me.

And in doing so stare down the fear driving it.

Even more daunting, feel the emotions trapping it in place.

Fears in the context of people ::

‘Will you love me’ if I don’t hold your pain?’

‘If I don’t smile, nod + tell you what you want to hear?’

‘If I’m not good?’

Fears in the creative process ::

‘Will you love me if I don’t share the ‘right’ thing?’

‘If I don’t create something beautiful, eloquent + evocative?’

‘If I’m not grand?’

Oh boy.

Radical it is.

To see unconscious aspects of self still searching for love externally.

The rage of not wanting the pressure to be good, very present.

So too the competing dread of not being good.

Simultaneously here to be felt.

This is beyond theory of self-love.

This is the downright grimy + gritty application of it.

Am I OK with me?

OK enough to let go of good + grand?

I’m not sure.

One step closer.

This does not mean I will stop my ‘weekly shares’.

I’m going to keep sharing until the charge is gone.

And keep placing myself around humans until the charge is gone there too.

Because I want to enjoy both.

More accurately I want the freedom to be uncensored in all circumstances.

As free as the exposed figures I draw.

And that’s incentive to keep on keeping on.

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The process to surrender is an interesting one. It’s not something we do. It’s something we arrive at. I’ve gotten pretty familiar with dropping into chaos and finding the order within. And there is definitely an order.

Laying out a roadmap so that you have a guide in your own periods of chaos::

  1. Notice any amplification of thoughts. A storyline that is becoming clear as day. When you feel these intensified thoughts arising, do your best to watch them. Receive the insights but know that you don’t know, yet. You’re early on in the game.
  2. There are emotions to be felt and any holding of insights will constrict you both energetically and physically.
  3. RED FLAG :: At this point in surrender you will want more, most. Use that hurried vibration as a sign post to spread your awareness.
  4. Get in your body. It needs you now more than ever. It needs you to soften the contractions. It needs you to breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Death is passing, birth is coming. Hang loose, baby.

That’s what I got for this week my loves.

XOXO,

Kate

Weekly Share

‘MORE’, DECODED

Have you ever had that frantic dream?

Of desperately trying to get somewhere but can’t?

Late to class but can’t find the classroom?

Trying to catch a flight but the terminals gone missing?

Variations of this dream haunt me regularly.

Panicked, hysterical + agitated, I never arrive.

This recurring nightmare is steadily shattering the idealist in me.

The one who thinks she knows the way to her destination.

Or that they’re even is one.

And as the idealist fragments, what’s fueling her is revealed.

A gluttony.

A subtle desire for ‘more’.

It’s embarrassing + everywhere.

On all levels, ‘more’, decoded, looks like this::

Intellectually, a persistent seeking of information. Feverishly connecting insights.

Emotionally, a favoring of pleasantries. Shunning the heavy + chasing the light.

Physically, a craving to be without pain. Mitigating sensations + muting cravings.

Creatively/Spiritually, a dashing toward inspiration. Rushing to feel a rush.

Oh ‘more’.

I didn’t quite see you til’ now.

And now I am tempering your desire.

Because more implies taking in when I’m simply not ready.

It undermines the systematic ordering of things.

Disregards the importance of integration.

Maybe I couldn’t understand integration until I reached a critical point of inhabiting this body.

Integration can’t be palpable when we are floating somewhere above.

But there is indeed a necessary assimilation involved as we grow.

Rather as we are grown but what’s growing us.

And it happens on each of these levels in a methodical manner.

Synapses connecting, emotions processing, bodies waking, spirits opening.

Constant movement that’s quite tangible when present.

If we maintain panoramic view, ‘more’ becomes the red flag alerting us we’ve narrowed our lense.

This will delay growth.

And it will hurt.

A heck of a lot.

Speaking from experience.

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The relationship between sensitivity, idealism + gut health is quite correlated. As someone who has worked to heal her digestive unrest since forever, I’m learning it might not be about the probiotics, bone broth and reduction of sugar. Not in totality anyhow. Maybe it’s not until we alter our very real beliefs around idealism that we will be able to properly integrate our food, emotions, experiences etc.

How to shift the idealist?

I’m not entirely sure as I’m sorta smack in this one. So here’s my advice to me (that I’m hoping will serve you as well)::

  1. Watch the subtle pull for ‘more’. Maybe it’s more food when you’ve already had enough or more money so that you can do this that or the other thing. It could be as innocent as wanting more love or more peace. It’s not so much about what as it is the over-zealous charge behind it. The charge is what prevents us from having it + ultimately integrating it.
  2. When you notice a pull – observe what level it’s emanating from. Is it intellectual, emotional, physical, spiritual?
  3. Go panoramic.  Expand your awareness so you may move beyond whatever level has a biased sense of knowing you need ‘more’.
  4. From this vantage there is space to look at the fear fueling it.  And that’s when the charge begins to untangle. We can finally take in more because we are not trying to have it.

Let me know how this plays out of you. I’d love to hear.

All my love.

Until next week,

Kate

Weekly Share

THE OTHER HIGH

I opened my eyes to Will and my mom crouching above me.

Expressions of alarm + concern broadcast from their faces.

They were speaking but I could not hear.

Gloria, that catchy song from the 80’s entered my awareness.

It was playing from Will’s iPhone.

‘Glo-ri-a, Glo-ri-a, I think I got your num-ber, Glo-ri-a’.

Suddenly I recognized what happened.

Moments prior I got up to dance and must have fainted.

‘How many fingers am I holding up?’ Will prompted.

‘12’, I joked.

Having fainted once before, the experience doesn’t become less disorienting.

Especially in front of family.

Family you haven’t seen in months.

On their kitchen floor.

Right before dinner.

I insisted they eat the Italian take-out my brother and dad just brought home.

As they stepped over me for silverware + plates, comfort came in ‘carry on as normal’.

Continuing to lie there, a very wide focus took hold.

All-encompassing + simultaneous.

My heart. racing with terror from the fall.

My body, aching from the counter I smacked on the way down.

My mind, muddled, faint and distant.

My spirit, right here.

Mom roamed back and forth between dinner and me.

Her state seemed to transform abruptly.

Moving from concern into another role entirely.

And that’s when I knew.

I knew why this was happening.

And how it had to be witnessed by her.

She coached me how to breathe lower.

That’s her job as a personal trainer.

But also in the roles she’s contracted to play.

Beyond mother/daughter.

As oxygen flooded my solar plexus, tears started to fall.

I could feel the cells in my abdomen shifting, gurgling, altering.

They’d been waiting for this moment.

Another level of dropping.

I wanted to tell her what I knew.

And how grateful I was for her role.

Instead I just looked up.

Her face, more familiar, more brilliant than ever before.

Through my watery gaze, I communicated the many levels of what was occurring.

And I got that was my role.

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This sense of knowing is not just limited to my experience of fainting.

It’s happening more and more.

Appearing to be multi-dimensional in nature.

The ‘all-encompassing + simultaneous’ focus is funneling this knowing through.

And the gratitude that comes alongside is…

…well…it’s a high.

But it’s the other high.

An elevated state involving conscious participation of all of me.

And with it, my old ways of lifting a fractioned sense of self are ending.

Sugar. Caffeine. The occasional drink. Over-thinking. Informationally traipsin’ into others.

They’re all sorta a cheap version for what I really want.

And what I really want is awareness of all of me.

All of the time.

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A far-reaching self sentience is the journey.

Especially when our attentiveness incorporates so much that isn’t us/ours.

It takes focus.

To come back to self. Again. And again.

Try it. Upon waking. When you’re in a tea shop. On the phone with a friend. When you’re crossing the road.

Notice your heart. Your body. Your mind. Your spirit.

And now notice all at once.

Get the other high on, my friends.

Until next week,

XOXO

-Kate

PS If you didn’t click through to Gloria, I really think you should.

Weekly Share

LOVE ON THE SURFACE

IMG_6800

Sadness has been alive in me for a long time.

So much so that in our wedding vows, Will spoke ‘I promise to love you when you’re sad, which is often.’

Shame coursed under my cream-colored gown, reddening my cheeks.

Every last guest now privy to my sadness secret.

I don’t want sadness nor its persistence.

And I especially don’t want to be witnessed in it.

There came a point where I had to stop.

Hiding it, that is.

A necessary lesson indeed.

And it had to come before the one I’m currently in.

Where I’m learning the sorrow in my system is not entirely mine.

I know despondency’s role is to slow; gently requesting release of accumulated information.

What I didn’t know is the extent at which I’ve been accumulating what isn’t mine to amass.

My processing skills have reached epic proportions.

A magnet I’ve become.

Energetically saying, ‘let me take it’.

On the level of spirit, informationally traipsing the ethers comes with thrill.

But on the level of human, I’m famished.

I don’t know how to give (nor receive) when not in flight.

With this, tinges of grief.

Followed by full-fledged grief.

About staying on the surface.

I’m not sure I want to.

Won’t it be less satisfying? Less exhilarating?

I place such value on the nuanced, profound and complex.

The surface is sorta, well, sorta lackluster.

Or is it?

It does feel a heck-of-a-lot-better to walk through my day lightly.

Informally interacting.

My body doesn’t melt with exhaustion.

My mind doesn’t race + my emotions aren’t crushing.

But still there’s uncertainty in me.

If I fully embrace the surface, that means I gota stay.

No more flying away in hopes of going home.

To land in this lesson now, indicates I must believe in love on the surface.

And maybe just maybe, I can lure down my spirit.

So we can be here together.

I sure hope so.

It feels like the only sustainable way to love + be loved.

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I don’t have words of wisdom to share just yet. There’s a pretty big storyline unfolding. It’s best to observe before imparting any real actionables. For now, seek love on the surface my deep ones.

Until next week,

XO

-Kate