Weekly Share

LOVE ON THE SURFACE

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Sadness has been alive in me for a long time.

So much so that in our wedding vows, Will spoke ‘I promise to love you when you’re sad, which is often.’

Shame coursed under my cream-colored gown, reddening my cheeks.

Every last guest now privy to my sadness secret.

I don’t want sadness nor its persistence.

And I especially don’t want to be witnessed in it.

There came a point where I had to stop.

Hiding it, that is.

A necessary lesson indeed.

And it had to come before the one I’m currently in.

Where I’m learning the sorrow in my system is not entirely mine.

I know despondency’s role is to slow; gently requesting release of accumulated information.

What I didn’t know is the extent at which I’ve been accumulating what isn’t mine to amass.

My processing skills have reached epic proportions.

A magnet I’ve become.

Energetically saying, ‘let me take it’.

On the level of spirit, informationally traipsing the ethers comes with thrill.

But on the level of human, I’m famished.

I don’t know how to give (nor receive) when not in flight.

With this, tinges of grief.

Followed by full-fledged grief.

About staying on the surface.

I’m not sure I want to.

Won’t it be less satisfying? Less exhilarating?

I place such value on the nuanced, profound and complex.

The surface is sorta, well, sorta lackluster.

Or is it?

It does feel a heck-of-a-lot-better to walk through my day lightly.

Informally interacting.

My body doesn’t melt with exhaustion.

My mind doesn’t race + my emotions aren’t crushing.

But still there’s uncertainty in me.

If I fully embrace the surface, that means I gota stay.

No more flying away in hopes of going home.

To land in this lesson now, indicates I must believe in love on the surface.

And maybe just maybe, I can lure down my spirit.

So we can be here together.

I sure hope so.

It feels like the only sustainable way to love + be loved.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I don’t have words of wisdom to share just yet. There’s a pretty big storyline unfolding. It’s best to observe before imparting any real actionables. For now, seek love on the surface my deep ones.

Until next week,

XO

-Kate

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